Showing posts with label Wonderings in the Word. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Wonderings in the Word. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

To the Penny...



Circle round, friends. I have a sweet story to tell.
And that open chest, filled with dress-up clothes 
is what inspires its telling this night.
It's a bit circuitous, but truly rich with 
wonder and grace
and it happened at -
well, what can I say?
It happened at exactly the right time. 

I had been at my job as Associate Pastor for about eight months, 
when I overheard an off-hand remark
made by our Senior Pastor,
 a man I greatly admired and
was delighted to be working with in my first-ever
paid ministry position.
And this is what he said:
"Well, all the stats tell you that you'll know a new
hire is a good hire if you can see that
they have 'raised' their own salary
and it shows up in the general budget funds
by the end of their first year."

Gasp.

Earn my own salary? 
Have it show up in the budget?
By doing what, exactly?
I was scrambling to learn who people were,
how they worked together - or didn't work together.
I was preaching a few times,
teaching a few times,
making lots of house and hospital calls,
planning small groups,
meeting with individuals and couples for counseling.
How was any of that
going to raise money for the budget? 

And then . . .

One afternoon, a favorite client of my husband's,
a truly beautiful, older woman who was
self-confident, gregarious and very out-spoken 
called him up and said:
"What's this I hear about you making a move to Santa Barbara? 
You know I've just moved up here, too, don't you?
Tell me all about this please!! 
Why are you here?"

So he told her.
"Well, you see, it's like this...
my wife is a pastor."
"She is what? A pastor, did you say?
Does she preach?"
"Sometimes," Dick said.
"She's an associate and she's part-time, so
it's just a few times a year."
"Well!" She bellowed. "I want to know the next time
she's up in the pulpit, because I'm coming myself
to check her out."

And come, she did.
All 5 feet 10 inches of Pasadena socialite that she was,
garbed in a bright chartreuse wool cape,
straight from the runways of Milan.
She had been active in an Episcopal parish
in Pasadena but hadn't yet found a church home 
in this new community.
When she came to hear me preach, 
she walked into the back door of the gymnasium 
we were using as a worship center, 
looked at the beautiful wooden cross 
we had mounted on the long wall 
(between the basketball hoops), 
genuflected, crossed herself, and sat down in the back row. 
Like any good Episcoplian would.
And she did that every single time she came.

That first time, she came up afterwards,
effusive in her praise, just delighted
that her financial advisor's wife
was a preacher.
She introduced us to a few other people in her social circle,
and went out of her way to be kind and inclusive. 

"Whenever you're up there," she said, 
"I'm gonna be down here." 

And she was.

She called the church office, and got the schedule.
And just about every time I preached for the next 10 years,
she was there, sitting in the back row. 

But here's the strange and wonderful part.
Are you ready?
That first Christmas, 
on the first anniversary of my very first day of work,
she called her investor guy - that would be my husband - 
and said something like this, entirely of her own volition:
"You know, I would really like my annual gift this year to
go to that Covenant Church where your wife works.
That's a great group of people over there
and I'd like to support what they're doing."

Can you guess what happened?
Her gift, 
to the penny, 
was the exact amount of  my salary -
for the entire year.
And for every year that she lived after that.
Can you imagine how encouraging this was
to a very wet-behind-the-ears,
brand-spankin' new pastor? 
To this day, I give thanks to God for this
gift of love and grace in my life.
First of all,
for this delightful, loving and faithful woman.
And then for her serendipitous generosity.
Her gift came at exactly the right time,
and was exactly the right amount.

And I had forgotten this lovely truth until one night
last month when we entertained several small girls.
They opened the dress-up chest,
and floating out of it came some of this 
loving friend's beautiful clothes. 

When she died, I had also become acquainted
with one of her sons - had married him and his wife,
in fact. And one day, as we were driving back to 
Santa Barbara from a time away, my phone rang.
He said, "Mom's in the hospital, and it doesn't look good
at all. But don't come - because I know she would not
want you to see her looking like this."
Gently, I assured him that I would be there,
and we headed straight to the hospital before going home.
That time of prayer and anointing and farewell
was one of the most beautiful experiences of my pastoral life.
And the two sons who were with her were
more grateful than they knew to have
the prayers of the church prayed over their mom as she died.

After her service,
the son and his new wife brought over a truckload 
of her clothing and costume jewelry,
donating it to a rummage sale we were having
to raise funds for student ministries.
I bought some of her beautiful and brightly-colored clothes,
including that chartreuse cape,
and put them lovingly in the dress-up box for my grand-girls -
who were yet to be born at the time!

Because, somehow, 
I just knew they would love them. 
And every time, they wrap themselves in
one of her diaphanous gowns,
I smile.
Both of our girls are going to be quite tall, you see.
Both of them are blessed with dramatic,
confident personalities.
And one day soon,
I'll tell them about my friend,
the one who blew through my life
like a gift on the Wind of God
and graced me with her love.

OF COURSE, I'm joining this one with Jennifer Lee's God-Incidences meme,
and also with Ann, Duane and Emily - whose amazing book releases TODAY.
If you love someone with an eating disorder, this book is one you should have on your shelf - it is terrific. "Chasing Silhouettes," by Emily Wierenga
 
 








Sunday, June 17, 2012

"This Difficult Friendship" - Living in Bodies

And the body, what about the body?
Sometimes it is my favorite child, 
uncivilized... 

And sometimes my body disgusts me.
Filling and emptying, it disgusts me... 

This long struggle to be at home
in the body, this difficult friendship.
-Jane Kenyon (From "Cages")

 Yesterday, I was in need of some solitude,
some time by myself,
away from the interruptions of home and family.
So I packed a lunch, got in my car,
and waited to see where my car would take me.
Turns out, my car likes the Slough.
 The parking lot was much more crowded than usual,
filled with family and friends of UCSB graduates
who were gathering at the nearby park for 
celebrations of all kinds on this graduation day.
I found a spot between a large motor home,
which served as a gathering spot 
for a group of middle-aged guys I've seen here before,
and a car filled with a family of beach-goers. 
I ate my lunch.
I did some reading.
And I got in and out of the car,
taking pictures and paying attention.
 It took me until today,
after hearing a fine sermon this morning by
our Associate Pastor, Jon Lemmond,
to more fully understand why this particular spot,
of all the possible spots I could have chosen,
is such a special one for me.

I like birds.
A lot.
I know very little about them,
I just know I love to sit and watch them,
to try and capture some of their beauty and grace
with my camera,
and to reflect on how completely  
at home they are
with the bodies God gave them.
Completely.
You don't hear birds complaining that they've
got too many feathers or too few,
that they wish their beaks were just a bit narrower,
that their feet were a little smaller,
that their tummies were tighter.
No, you don't.
Besides the fact that birds don't speak English,
I think the reason we don't hear (or observe) such
kvetching behavior in birds is this:
they know who they are,
they accept who they are,
they live a one-piece life.

I want a one-piece life.
I want to keep body and soul together,
I want to recognize that I am a body.
And I want to accept that body with grace and with gratitude.

And I have a long way to go on that journey.
Today's sermon was a strong, clear word of encouragement
to keep on truckin'. 
Jon took a few verses from a favorite psalm 
this morning - Psalm 139:13-18.
And he laid out his observations beautifully:
1. Our bodies are spiritual - 
we want not to err on the side of gnosticism 
(the most stubborn of historical heresies in the church) 
and denigrate the design of God for our physicality.
It is with our bodies that we glorify God.
It is in our bodies that we are saved.
We are, in truth, our bodies.
In Genesis 2, God takes the dust of the earth 
and breathes life into it...
spirit and flesh, joined forever. 

But unlike the birds, our bodies need redemption,
restoration, renewal.
And they are so valuable to God,
that God took on our bodily form so that redemption
and restoration and renewal might be possible. 

2. Our bodies are praiseworthy.
And this is where most of us badly twist the truth 
of who we are as embodied creatures.
The most usual translation of verse 14 goes something like this:
"We are fearfully and wonderfully made."
But Jon's OT prof, Leslie Allen (who was also my OT prof!),
translates it more like this: 
"God is wonderful. And we are made in God's image."
We should indeed stand in awe of who we are,
at what our bodies can do -
wounds heal,
pupils contract and dilate 
according to the ambient light,
our skin and sweat glands 
help set a healthy thermostat.
We are indeed wonderfully made!
BUT...
we are wonderful because of who made us,
not because of any intrinsic 'perfection' of our own.
Therefore, beware our cultural predilection for
believing we are the center of things.
When the Bible tells us that our bodies are wonderful,
it is not meant as, "a psychological pick-me-up 
aimed at bolstering our self-esteem."
Rather, these words point us first to the Creator,
and only then, to the creature.
If we can grab hold of this astounding truth,
then maybe, just maybe,
we can begin to believe that every single one of us,
able-bodied or not,
fat, thin, tall, short, young, old -
every one of us - 
broken and imperfect as we are -
is a thing of wonder and delight to the One who made us.

Not just cute babies.
Not just Hollywood celebrities.
Not just the perfect bikini-body.
Not just the strong, ripped muscles.
No.
ALL.OF.US.
"We are beautiful because we are the Lord's."
And then my friend and former colleague offered the most
beautiful analogy to help us latch onto this 
powerful truth.
The stole he is wearing was a gift to him on the 
day of his ordination into the ministry.
It was made for him by his mother and his grandmother.
It is lovely to look at...
but it is not perfect.
It doesn't lie flat at the back like 
a more professionally made stole would.
Some of the stitching around the six lovely 
symbol patches is a little rough. 

But it is one of Jon's most priceless possessions.
When the Tea Fire hit his neighborhood three years ago,
he first made sure his wife and children were safe.
And then, Jon rushed into his house and grabbed this stole.
Not because it is perfect.
Not because it is without flaws.
Not because it does everything it was meant to do.
No.
Jon grabbed it because of who made it.
Jon grabbed it because of the love that was poured into it.
Jon grabbed it not because of its intrinsic value,
but because of the relationship 
he has with the ones who made it.
It is beautiful,
not so much for what it is,
but because it reflects the love of the creator(s).
 
Can I begin to value my body for what it truly is?
The gift of my Creator?
My body.
The dust of the earth,
into which God breathed life 67 years ago.
My body.
The embodiment of God's dream for me 
as a whole person,
a unified human being,
body, soul, spirit.
My body.
A reflection of the God who loves me.


An added spot of beauty to our worship last Sunday was a new offertory song. Our Director of Worship Arts, Bob Gross, wrote a lovely melody to go with these powerful words written by Mechtild of Mageburg in the 13th century. This translation was done in 1991 by Jean Wiebe Janzen, but the words in bold are Bob's addition and served as a beautiful refrain throughout the piece. He tells us he's going to do a YouTube version, and when he does, I'll post a link here - and undoubtedly elsewhere, like Facebook and Twitter.  I sat amazed at how these lyrics sort of wrapped up my entire weekend. Read them carefully:

I cannot dance, O Love, unless you lead me on.
I cannot leap in gladness, unless you lift me up.
From love to love we circle, beyond all knowledge grow.
For when you lead, we follow, to new worlds you can show.

Love is the music 'round us, we glide as birds in air,
entwining, soul and body, your wings hold us with care.
Your Spirit is the harpist and all your children sing;
her hands the currents 'round us, your love the golden strings.

Play me a medley. 
Play me a song. 
Lead me, I am yours. 
I cannot dance alone. 

O blessed Love, your circling unites us, God and soul.
From the beginning, your arms embrace and make us whole.
Hold us in steps of mercy from which you never part,
that we may know more fully the dances of your heart. 

Joining with Michelle, Jennifer, Laura, Duane and L.L. this time.
And at the middle of the week, also joining Ann V., Jennifer Dukes Lee and Emily W.











On In Around button














Friday, June 15, 2012

Quiet for the Weekend - June 16/17, 2012


“Listen, O Israel! 
The Lord is our God, the Lord alone.  
And you must love the Lord your God 
with all your heart, 
all your soul, 
and all your strength.  
And you must commit yourselves 
wholeheartedly to 
these commands that I am giving you today.   
Repeat them again and again to your children. 
Talk about them when you are at home 
and when you are on the road, 
when you are going to bed 
and when you are getting up.  
Tie them to your hands 
and wear them on your forehead 
as reminders.   
Write them on the doorposts of your house 
and on your gates."
Deuteronomy 6:4-9, The New Living Translation

 Wooden gates and doors from Our Lady of Mount Carmel Catholic Church,
where the Kindergarden Commencement for our granddaughter Grace 
was held on Thursday morning of this week.
This church is four driveways from our home.
I have been inside a few times, but never wandered the grounds with camera in hand.
It is an old mission style church, built for the families of the soldiers in the presidio when Father Serra 
built the mission trail in California in the late 18th century.
It is gloriously beautiful and someday I'll do an entire photo essay about it.
But these gates and doors spoke to me this week.
Perhaps the scripture above and the one below are part of why they did.

  "Yes, I am the gate. 
Those who come in through me will be saved. 
They will come and go freely 
and will find good pastures.  
The thief’s purpose 
is to steal and kill and destroy.  
My purpose is 
to give them a rich and satisfying life."
John 10:9-10, The New Living Translation
And surely one of the sweetest gifts of a rich and satisfying life
is a purple hydrangea still glistening with morning dew.
This one was located next to the doors shown above.

May your weekend bring reminders of the rich and satisfying life of Jesus, the gate.

Linking this with my friends Sandy and Deidra at their quiet gathering spaces for our weekend reveries.